Top of the morning folks. Amongst my many talents & gift that I was blessed with from the most high, was the gift of Astrological Prognostication (for the ones that dropped out of school in Form 1 that means ah does read signs & ting).  Don’t mind that they aren’t in order eh. And doh play yuh cussing me after cuz ah go tell you bout yuh mudda and which part ah she yuh come from……..


ARIES:  95% of Aries are narcissistic, delusional whores. Male & Females. That other 5% rocks tho.  Don’t call or text me to ask which percentage you fall into.  You won’t like my answer, trust me.

CANCER:  Run from Cancers. Their astrological symbol is crabs. We doh f*ck with that in 2012. No one wants crabs & everybody tryna duck cancer.  That should tell you all you need to know

LEO:  Leo men are Lions (see The Gospel According to Skinny on my FB status from 11/26/12.) Leo females are the Lioness…Some of the biggest cats on the planet.  Leo men feel like they are the alpha male.  Just like the Lion they lazy as hell & expect the woman to do everything.  But in a fight they could probably cut yuh ass.  Leo females are just like the Lioness.  Dem REHL schupid.  They go hunt & kill and then sit back and let them Lion eat first (understand the metaphor).  They well let men treat them like shit & still be happy. Fellas if yuh looking for a real dotish woman, grab up a Leo.

TAURUS:  Taurus’s are great. #ThatIsAll. (Yes I am a Taurus….DUH!!!!!!)

SAGITTARIUS:  Sagittarius ppl are good ppl. But they ignorant, wayward & hard ears as hell. They does look to feel before they listen & learn. They give people more chances than a Monopoly game and doh read people well.  These are the asses that wear there hearts on their sleeves and always end up hurt or in some kinda shit.

GEMINI:  Gemini’s are interesting. They can lime & fit in anywhere.  Very fun loving and ting.   But their nervous asses are the worse to have as co-defendants in a case.  If they doh outright snitch on you and turn states evidence, a jury will see straight through them cuz they are nervous by nature.

PISCES:  Fellas if you are like me & doh like clingy women, then you don’t want a Pisces.  Man are these women annoying. want to be up yuh bottom every chance they get & doh give you a chance to breath.  Ladies, the men are some emotional ass dudes.  Everything is gonna be dramatic with them.  Matter of fact keep yuh eye on them good. When you go to sleep they may be playing in yuh make-up bag & trying on yuh wigs & ting in the bathroom mirror.

AQUARIUS:  Who and what the hell is really an Aquarius? Ppl actually rep that shit?  Never heard anyone running around saying “Aquarius in the house….OWWWWWWW”.  My Mom is an Aquarius and I doh even self think she knows that…….ZZZZZZZZZ…….NEXT

CAPRICORN:  A Capricorn is a person you wanna marry. Everything about them is marriage material. Even if they ugly as sin, get one.  Every male & female I know that is is a Capricorn are people you could want to spend the rest of your life with.  They aren’t perfect by any means. But as a partner for life, they tend to make out for the best. Capricorn woman must know how fi mek it quint. LMAOOOOO. Capricorns big up yuhselves!

VIRGO:  If you gonna commit a big crime, you gonna want a full squad of Virgos with you. They plan well & stay level headed.  Aside from Taurus, its the most stable sign.  Talk bout ride or die?  Virgos gonna go out with you bussing dey gun.  Grab up a Virgo….go rob a bank. LMAO

SCORPIO:  Only place u want a Scorpio is if u stuck on like Gilligans Island. They’re resourceful.  They will make a something outta nothing.  I can almost guarantee you that MacGuyver  was a Scorpio.  BUT…..In a relationship….FOH!  Run fast as you can.  Scorpio’s are crazy as all hell.  Doh ask me to explain. Just trust my words.  Scorpio come around to play dey tryna buss yuh draws…..take off like de Jamaican Track team.

LIBRA:  This is the most confusing sign hands down.  The same characteristics that make me love some Libras, makes me hate them as well.  There’s no in between with them.  I have a very close friend that I happen to think is one of the greatest people in the world.  Her birthday is October 10th. So I google Libra traits & this is what it said:  LIBRA TRAITS….Desires popularity, Loves art, Neat, Dresses up for the occasion, Slight perfectionist, Narcissism, Charitable, Bossy at times, Plans ahead, Attention to detail & Loves public service.  LIBRA LIKES:  Beauty, Gifts, Debates, Attention, Intellectual conversations, Admiration, Credit cards, Mingling, Subtle colours& textures.  LIBRA DISLIKES:  Noise,Confusion, Sloppiness, Ugliness, Dirt, Pressured decisions, Being rushed & Criticism.  Now if this doesn’t describe her to the letter I don’t know what does.  But those same traits are what makes me despise alot of other Libras.  I doh know eh.  Yuh could love dem or want to cut dey ass.  Depends on how yuh vibes takes to dem.

Need anymore info?  Feel free to leave a comment here, ah go hook yuh up. Likkle more eh.  Walk good!


See allyuh again soon, I mean like real soon….Maybe like in the next 2-3 hours soon….Or maybe tomorrow….Who knows?

De $hit Talk King




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8 Responses so far.

  1. RumHoesIntl says:


  2. Skinny says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Every Aries I know except de Boss Lady cuss me for the morning. LMAO

  3. Dread1 says:

    I is yes I is that’s Tobago talk a Scorpio and I ain’t mad I’m sweet and caring and understandable if u don’t piss my ass off. Do that and ill tell you ill cut u up and eat u if u wanna fcuk with me.
    -I’m a fcuking sweetheart

  4. dollface says:

    You r soooo wrong for that cancer comment skinny I am a cancer an a sweetheart an kind of a push ova an nothing like wat you said a caner is eva *evil face*

  5. BamBam says:

    Boy I tell yuh…theres only one of you….your a mess…dwl

  6. THE QUEEN says:

    “LIBRA: This is the most confusing sign hands down.” – LOL
    Uh….we try to find the equilibrium in life….that at times can be confusing.

    “The same characteristics that make me love some Libras, makes me hate them as well. There’s no in between with them.”…. go figure!

    “I have a very close friend that I happen to think is one of the greatest people in the world. Her birthday is October 10th.” – I think I know this empress.

    LIBRA TRAITS….Desires popularity, Loves art, Neat, Dresses up for the occasion, Slight perfectionist, Narcissism, Charitable, Bossy at times, Plans ahead, Attention to detail & Loves public service. – TRUE

    LIBRA LIKES: Beauty, Gifts, Debates, Attention, Intellectual conversations, Admiration, Credit cards, Mingling, Subtle colours& textures. – TRUE AGAIN…I guess the shopping part falls under CREDIT CARDS. LOL

    LIBRA DISLIKES: Noise, Confusion, Sloppiness, Ugliness, Dirt, Pressured decisions, Being rushed & Criticism. —-we also dislike INJUSTICE.

    “But those same traits are what makes me despise a lot of other Libras.” ….You can’t despise them all. 😉


  7. Lavinia Burrous says:

    Although most cultural systems of astrology share common roots in ancient philosophies that influenced each other, many have unique methodologies which differ from those developed in the West. These include Hindu astrology (also known as “Indian astrology” and in modern times referred to as “Vedic astrology”) and Chinese astrology, both of w,

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    http://www.caramoan.ph/caramoan-camarines-sur/hich have influenced the world’s cultural history.

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